I have that bed… :s

theclearlydope:

Guess she didn’t get an iPhone either.

theclearlydope:

I want you to stay at least 10 feet away from my food at all time.

theclearlydope:

Hey anybody seen my King Kong hand shirt? I was going to wear it to Applebee’s. 

theclearlydope:

I’m starting my Christmas shopping today. How will I deal with the shopping madness?

1. Get pissed on beers at a random happy hour.

2. Call my unemployed friend for a ride to the mall.

3. Pay him $6 and some change to have him drop me off at the front door and to keep the motor running.

4. Run into Spencer Gifts throw a $20 bill and a bag on the counter and tell them to fill it up with witty one-liner coffee mugs.

5. On the way out of the mall pick up a Cinnabon.

6. Jump into car enjoy the Cinnabon and DONE.

theclearlydope:

So … you only do cases that pertain to the toilet seat being up, credit card charges at Bed Bath & Beyond and chewing too loud?

Agreed